Are You Giving Too Much? The Hidden Cost of One-Sided Relationships

Have you ever found yourself giving so much to others that somewhere along the way, you lost sight of yourself? Are you giving from a place of genuine love and connection, or from a deeply ingrained belief that love, acceptance, and belonging must somehow be earned?

 

In this episode of The Connected Community Podcast, host Nicky Yazbeck is joined by her husband, Adam Yazbeck, for an exploration of reciprocity in relationships, the hidden costs of people-pleasing, and the delicate balance between giving, receiving, and honoring our own needs. From starting out as an actor to working in pediatric emergency and critical care nursing, Adam has pursued his passion for soulful connection, healing and the potential of the human spirit. His journey continues with the launch of his integrative psychiatric practice: Kanay Integrative Psychiatry, coming early 2027; focused on helping others discover and embody who they truly are through the blended modalities of western medicine, IFS, shamanic and psychedelic spaces. 

 

Together, Nicky and Adam explore what it truly means to be in “right relationship,” where connection is rooted in mutual respect, authenticity, and empowerment rather than obligation, expectation, or keeping score. They examine how childhood conditioning, attachment patterns, and the desire to feel worthy of love can unconsciously shape the ways we show up in our adult relationships. When does generosity become self-abandonment? When does kindness turn into resentment? And how do we recognize when our desire to nurture others is coming at the expense of our own emotional well-being?

 

Nicky shares her personal experience during her ketamine training journey that deepened her understanding of self-love and the importance of directing the same compassion, care, and nurturing energy inward that she so naturally extends to others. Adam reflects on his own experiences of overextending himself professionally and the realization that constantly saying yes to others can mean having less emotional capacity for the people who matter most. Together, they challenge the notion that healthy relationships must always be 50/50, offering a more compassionate perspective on the natural ebb and flow of reciprocity through different seasons of life.

 

Their conversation also explores the transformative power of healthy boundaries, honest communication, gratitude, and learning to ask for what we need without guilt or expectation. They reflect on the importance of recognizing the many different ways love and care are expressed, understanding our emotional capacity, and cultivating relationships and communities where giving and receiving feel natural rather than transactional.

 

Ultimately, this episode is an invitation to examine the relationships in your life, including the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself. Are your connections nourishing and empowering you, or are you repeatedly abandoning yourself in an effort to maintain them? Can you allow yourself to receive as freely as you give? And what might become possible if you stopped trying to earn love and began trusting that you are already worthy of it?

 

True reciprocity isn’t about giving equally. It’s about loving consciously, honoring boundaries, and creating relationships where no one has to lose themselves to belong.

 

Chapters

00:00 Defining reciprocity as “right relationship”

04:03 How childhood people-pleasing shapes adult giving

09:06 Care versus transactions and keeping score

14:09 Recognizing self-abandonment and depletion

17:53 Nicky’s self-love experience and learning to receive

22:12 Why partners cannot be responsible for completing us

26:02 Hidden agendas, human needs, and the role of community

31:52 Why reciprocity is not always 50/50

36:08 Acknowledgment, gratitude, and different ways of giving

39:59 Ask for capacity, name your needs, and hold boundaries

43:55 Adam’s shift from overwork to protecting family time

48:04 Checking how relationships feel and closing reflections

 

Action  items:

• Notice how your body feels before, during, and after time with people in your life.
• Check your current capacity before agreeing to emotional support or social plans.
• Ask clearly for what you need, and state when a relationship feels one-sided.
• Set boundaries without treating a no as a rejection of the relationship; suggest another time when appropriate.
• Ask people how they prefer to receive care instead of assuming.
• Acknowledge specific acts of care with gratitude, even when you cannot return the same act.
• Review where your time and energy are going, and redirect them toward relationships and commitments that are nourishing.

 

 

 

Connect with me:

https://nickyYyoga.com

https://www.youtube.com/@TheConnectedCommunity

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/nicole-yazbeck-centennial-co/1475454

https://www.instagram.com/kambo_mama/

 

Connect with Adam:

https://kanaywellness.com - coming soon

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/adam-yazbeck-denver-co/1688457

 

 

KEYWORDS: reciprocity in relationships, healthy boundaries, self-abandonment, people-pleasing, self-love, emotional capacity, relationship dynamics, community, healthy relationships, self-abandonment, relationship advice